Joie’s hell on earth was her own damn fault…

joie d'sprit hell on earth; memiors of a seeker by ts hall the stoic mediumJoie recognized the vibration but couldn’t place from where. The vibration was male with a pronounced feminine aspect that was being repressed. The vibration felt conflicted.

Joie looked at Jenn and said, I get male about 40-ish. Jenn smiled and said. “Bingo. Is there anything else?”

“He feels familiar, but I can’t place from where,” replied Joie.

“Have a look.”

Joie turned in her chair and recognized the guy who’d asked Jenn to join him at a church service. When they met him, Joie was telling Jenn about living through hell to get to heaven. During a meditation, she experienced a catharsis. That night she released or processed traumatic experiences stored in her body’s memory. She learned that sometimes trauma gets stored in the body. It works like a psychic capacitor that has never discharged. During her catharsis, years of unexpressed emotion and rage released from her body. That night began her experiencing self-love and acceptance.

Are You Christian, Revisited

The guy sitting at the table next to them had confronted them a couple of years earlier. He asked if they were Christian, then let Jenn know he would be saving a seat for her at his church service.

“He’s going to sit next to us again,” Jenn said.

“Looks that way.”

He sat at the table next to them. He smiled at them as he settled in and opened “10% Happier” by Dan Harris.

Joie and Jenn looked at each other with surprise on their faces. Jenn asked the guy how the book was. He looked up and recognized Jenn. Turning red, he said, “Excellent. I’m reading it for the second time. Don’t I know you?”

“We’ve met,” Jenn replied. “Are you still going to that big church you invited me to?”

Stammering, the guy replied, “No. I quit about two years ago. It wasn’t helping me find happiness.”

“I’m Jenn, and this is Joie,” Jenn said.

Hell on earth: Angry and in lots of pain

hell on earth - lonely, bitter, angryReaching out to shake hands, he said, “I’m Stanley. Pleased to meet you both. I’m sorry about what happened the last time we met. Can you forgive me for being such a jerk?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Jenn said. “You seemed to be angry and in a lot of pain.”

“Don’t forget confused,” added Stanley with a shy smile.

“What made you quit your church and start reading books about meditation?” Jenn asked.

“When we met, I was so angry. What I heard you talking about flipped a switch inside me,” Stanley said. “The next few weeks, I replayed what I heard you talking about over and over in my head. I couldn’t shake the one thing your friend said. She said, ‘I can see that I’m a warm, loving and compassionate person.’ It dawned on me that’s what I was looking for from a church. I wanted to find something, anything that was beautiful in me. But lots of Christians have all these rules and dogma. Everyone has to donate money and invite people to church. Too many churches feel more like Amway than anything spiritual.

“As I listened to what Joie was talking about, I heard rawness and truthfulness that felt right to me. There were authenticity and vulnerability that struck me as spiritual. As you two spoke, I realized that neither of you was trying to change or fix the other person. Instead, you were friends exploring the mysteries of life. You were walking together to someplace you’d never been before. You each felt drawn to the same destination and walking there together. I was jealous and decided to start my own Spiritual Quest.

Hell on earth: Smiling on the outside but hollow on the inside

“At the different churches I visited and attended, everyone had answers. Everyone seemed to be smiling on the outside yet hollow on the inside. They delighted in telling me what I was doing wrong and that this or that or the other was the reason that I wasn’t happy. But none of their advice ever felt right. It felt like a one-size-fits-all formula to salvation, when I never thought that I needed saving. Hell, I needed to know why I felt sad and lonely.

hell on earth - fake smiles and hollow on the  inside“After hearing you both talk about meditation, I decided to look into it. I’ve been meditating for about a year and a half. I picked up this book by Dan Harris to see what I’m doing wrong. Quite frankly, I don’t feel like it’s working. In fact, I’ve been wracking my brain to remember where you said you were taking classes so I can get some guidance. I haven’t been back to this coffee haus since that night but felt I should come in today. And lo, I met you two again.”

Jenn smiled at Joie and said, “I’d say your meditation practice is working quite nicely. You’ve been wanting to connect with us again, and ‘felt’ you should be here today and here we are. Ta Da!”

“What do you mean?”

“Meditating on a consistent basis helps you to quiet your mind. A quiet mind allows you to hear your intuition clearly. You get a thought or feeling that you know is important to listen to. Then coincidences or random meetings begin happening more often. But coincidence or luck, can’t explain their frequency or effectiveness,” Jenn said.

“Interesting,” Stanley murmured, processing what Jenn said.

Joie asked, “Why were you so angry?”

The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen

hell on earth can't approach most beautiful woman ever seenStanley flashed an embarrassed smile. He said, “I really liked Jenn and wanted to ask her out but was too embarrassed. I kept trying to think of some clever way to impress her with my spirituality. But when I finally opened my mouth, everything came out caustic and wrong. I went all in with Christian righteousness and superiority. You know, I will show you how much I love you by trying to save your immortal soul. I guess it didn’t work out so well.”

“Not really,” Jenn said. “Why did you invite me to church?”

Embarrassed again, Stanley replied, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. The only game I had back then was going to church. I ran out because of how stupid I sounded.”

There was a long, awkward silence.

To heal and communicate with our Spirit Guides and Teachers

Stanley started reading again. Then Joie asked, “What type of meditation do you practice?”

“What do you mean, what type?”

“What do you do when you meditate?”

“I pay attention to my breathing and try not to follow any of the thoughts that enter my mind,” Stanley said.

“How long do you sit?” asked Jenn.

“I sit at least 20 minutes, twice a day.”

“Nice,” Joie said.

“What did you mean when you asked me what type of meditation I practice?”

“There are many different types of meditation practice. I was curious which type you practiced.”

“I didn’t know there were different types. Don’t you do the same thing?” Stanley directed his question to Jenn.

“No. We practice stillness meditation, the complete absence of thought. We precede our stillness with a concentration practice. Concentration is focusing our full attention on a single thought or image,” Jenn said.

Stanley looked confused. Jenn added, “We find stillness meditation the best way to clear our minds. We clear our minds so we can communicate with our Spirit Guides and Teachers. We also train our minds to project healing energy to others to help restore health and well-being.”

Jenn and Stanley continued talking. He was very interested in what Jenn had to share.

Eat Pray Love

“Ya’ll excuse me, I’m going to make a couple of calls. I’ll be back soon,” Joie said as she got up.

“Okay,” Jenn said.

Joie went to the patio and found a table. She checked her messages and returned several phone calls. She checked in on Jenn. She was fully engaged in conversation with Stanley. Joie returned to her table and opened her journal.

She recorded her experiences from her vibrations practice. She noted how well she’d done. She had effortlessly directed her awareness to touch other people’s vibrations. She was then able to discern more about that person at some inner level of knowing. She compared her experience to a laser scanner reading a barcode. Or better yet, the way Neo could see the Matrix.

transcending hell on earth with a plan for the futureJoie wrote “The Spiritual Matrix” in her journal followed by the words “Eat Pray Love.”

Under “Eat” she wrote, ”I am enjoying the fabric and texture of the physical world.”

Under “Pray” she wrote, “Meditation. The practice of skills. The display of skills. Observing my true level. Totally free of delusion. Integrating spiritual sensitivities into my daily life.”

Under “Love” she wrote, “Harmonious connections between me and others. Unconditionally accepting everyone as whole, complete, and perfect, including myself.”

Reading over what she’d written, Joie smiled. A deep warmth came over her body as she touched the image of the future she’d created earlier. It still rang true and felt right.

Reverend Joie d’Sprit Smith

Joie drew a Yin/Yang symbol in her journal. She made a line from the word “Eat” to the dark side of the symbol. Then a line from the word “Pray” to the light side of the symbol. Then she drew a forked line from the word “Love” to spots on each side of the symbol.

The makeshift logo represented her spiritual journey into her future. Eating was Yinang her physical body’s enjoyment of the physical world. Praying was Yin, her spiritual practices opening the spiritual eyes of her soul. Love, present in both Yin and Yang, being harmony and balance.

Under the logo, Joie wrote, “Reverend Joie d’Sprit Smith. Spiritual Teacher | Medium | Healer.” In her mind’s eye, Joie created the image of addressing a crowd of one thousand people. Joie was helping them accept their pasts and build their futures. She helped them open the spiritual eyes of their souls and become a source of light in their own lives.

Avoid hell on earth with the 3Rs

Joie played out the visualization for several minutes. At first, her perspective was from her point of view in the vision. She saw what she would see from the stage. Joie then changed her perspective to a birds-eye view. She focused her attention from the future back to the present. As she did so, she saw herself sitting in the coffee haus right now doing this visualization. Sitting in her chair, Joie directed her awareness back toward the future. Looking at the future, Joie saw the next several steps she would need to get there from here.

Opening her eyes, Joie wrote down these next steps in her journal. She then scheduled the actions into her calendar. When she closed the calendar app on her phone, Joie saw the text notification.

Checking her texts, Joie saw the message from Samuel. After pondering her response, Joie replied, “Thank You.” She started remembering the good times she’d had with him when a horrible image entered her mind.

The vision was of Mallie tossed about inside a car like a rag doll. Then a sudden jolt, the screech of tires and the clamor of metal on metal. Mallie was in a car wreck. It was a bad one, horrible.

When the vision ended, Joie played back what she’d seen. She recognized Mallie’s Dad’s car. The accident was at an intersection two blocks away from Mallie’s school.

Joie had seen this accident before in her mind’s eye. Two days earlier, Joie’s precognition saw Bill and Mallie getting into an accident. She didn’t know where or when it might happen, so didn’t know how to warn them.

Joie quieted her mind and touched Mallie’s vibration. Mallie was banged up and still conscious. Joie got a sense of being trapped and in fear. Joie heard Mallie’s Dad moaning. He was hurt too.

Joie got up, gathered her things and raced to her car. She hoped she was wrong and that her mind was having a caffeine-induced hallucination. But she knew that wasn’t the case; Mallie was hurt, and it was her fault.

Mallie was hurt and it was Joie’s fault

The drive took about twenty minutes. When Joie arrived, an ambulance was driving away. She saw Bill’s car. Joie parked on the curb. Instead of following the ambulance, she quieted her mind. Then she sent Mallie and her Dad each a spiritual absence healing….

After sending the healings, Joie lost it. How could this happen? Mallie had been through so much. And now Joie had let her down. Berating herself, Joie thought, “Why didn’t I warn Bill about the accident?”

Blinded by guilt, Joie didn’t notice Jenn’s text. Jenn wanted to know where she’d disappeared to.

A wave of despair overcame Joie. She drifted into a state of mind that could only be described as hell on earth. Joie was beating herself up. She was mind-screwing about why she hadn’t warned Bill about the accident.

She appointed herself personally responsible for Mallie and Bill getting hurt. Joie wallowed in self-pity. She was acting out the role of a stupid victim who never does anything right and who always hurts others.

Joie started having a panic attack. She struggled to breathe, her chest tightened, and tears poured from her eyes….

Next week we find out what happened to Mallie and her Dad. What consequences are in store for Joie for not warning Bill about the possible accident?

About TS Hall

TS Hall is the Stoic Medium, a Spiritualist Minister who is also know as Rev Terry Hall.

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